Down and Out
by CrackityJane
Summary: Remus is down and out after his very public outing as a werewolf. Now an outcast of the Wizarding society and broke, he struggles to cope. The last thing he expects is for Severus Snape to offer him a place to stay. Set just after POA. Remus/Severus.
1. Chapter 1

**Remus Lupin's werewolf alter-ego has been exposed to the public, and his reputation is in tatters. Now an outcast of the Wizarding society, he struggles to cope with little or no money. The last thing he expects is for Severus Snape, one of the main reasons for his current situation, to arrive on his doorstep offering him a place to stay.**

**The M rating is warranted...**

**Disclaimer: JKR owns the characters and HP universe. Although if she wants to take this plot, that's just fine with me.**

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The front door creaked in defiance as Remus wrenched it open, revealing his late night visitor.

'Oh,' he murmured, his face suddenly darkening in recognition of the figure on his doorstep, 'Well, I must admit, you're the last person I expected to see here.'

'And a good evening to you too, Lupin,' Severus Snape drawled, 'Looking a bit peaky, aren't we?'

Remus heaved a sigh through clenched teeth. He was not the ill-tempered type, but this was an exception. Tonight he was in no mood to be kicked while he was down by Snape. After losing his job at Hogwarts and being outed to the wizarding world as a high-risk danger due to his 'condition', the wound was still fresh - and very raw.

'Forgive me, Severus, but – _why _are you here?' Remus scowled, wanting to keep this tedious visit as short as possible.

'Not in a very welcoming mood this evening, I see,' Severus smirked.

'Never mind,' he continued with a wave of his hand, 'I'll just get to the point. I received a message from Dumbledore this evening informing me of your unfortunate _situation.'_

Remus could see that Snape was positively on cloud nine as he stressed his last word. 'Situation' was a much nicer way of saying that he was penniless and, therefore, soon to be without a roof over his head. Feeling his jaw tighten with every passing moment, Lupin was finding it hard to restrain his fist from launching itself straight into Snape's smug face. He was in this miserable _situation _thanks to him, after all. Remus should have known months ago that Snape, one of the very few people who had known about Lupin's monthly transformation, would jump at any chance to destroy his life. After all these years, the Slytherin still refused to let go of an immature grudge.

'And that's it? That's why you came here – to let me know that you're aware I'm a failure?' Lupin glared as he folded his arms, 'Well, you've finally got what you wanted, didn't you, Severus? Blatant proof that you're more successful in every way than I am. Thank you very much, and goodnight.'

And with that, he swung the door shut. Only, there was something in the way; Snape had outstretched a hand, preventing the door from closing fully. The raven-haired man then stubbornly pushed it open once again and forced his way inside, surprising Remus with his strength as he stumbled backwards.

'What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, Severus?'

'Maybe if you would stop acting like an hysterical teenager for a moment then I could tell you, Lupin,' Snape growled, visibly losing his patience, 'I'm sure you have nothing better to be doing with your time.'

Leaning against the wall at his back, Remus regarded the man with tired eyes. His energy levels were lower than usual that night, and this encounter had already sucked out whatever remaining energy he had had left in him. He couldn't put up a fight at this point, even if he wanted to.

'Alright,' the werewolf sighed, defeated, 'Say what you have to say and then please leave.'

Snape's eyes scanned the gloomy hallway they stood in and the decidedly unsafe-looking staircase nearby. The wallpaper was crumbling and bore faded patterns of flowers - flowers which now looked withered and merely added to the wretched feel of the place. The rotting floorboards were no better, and were undoubtedly a breeding ground for any number of insects. That Remus should live here was somewhat fitting; just like this miserable excuse for a house, any hint of cheerfulness had been completely stripped away from him.

'As I was saying, Dumbledore informed me that you were having some difficulty regarding money and, more than likely, a place to stay - '

'I'm sure you're delighted with yourself,' Remus muttered.

'Oh, stop it,' spat Severus, 'The truth would have been revealed sooner or later – with or without my intervention. Such a thing could not have been kept quiet forever. Have you even stopped to think about the consequences of a werewolf running riot through a school if, for some reason, you had failed to take your potion? It was foolish to put the children at risk in the first place.'

Remus put his head into his hands and ran slender fingers across his temples. Snape was right, of course. There was always a chance that something could have happened, and although it was a relatively small chance, it would still be there at the back of Remus' mind, nagging him.

'I didn't come for a shouting match with you,' Snape continued, 'I came on Dumbledore's suggestion that I offer you a place to stay - for as long as it takes you to find a better alternative.'

Remus' back straightened. Had he heard right?

'What – are you serious?' he gaped.

'As much as it pains me to say,' Severus replied in a somewhat bored tone 'Yes, I am.'

This was the very last thing Remus had expected. But even though he hadn't said so, Remus guessed that Snape had been more or less forced into the idea by Dumbledore.

The two stood in silence for a few moments, both scrutinizing each other cautiously. Snape finally raised an eyebrow.

'Well, I assure you that I would have no problem with it should you decline the offer,' he sighed as he turned to leave, 'You're obviously very well suited to this place.'

'No, wait!' Remus blurted, lunging forward to block Snape's swift exit. Now was no time to be proud

'As much as I enjoy waking each morning with frostbite, and risking my life each time I climb or decsend those stairs,' he began, realising how pathetic he sounded, 'I... would like to take you up on that offer. But only if you're absolutely positive. I know how much you like your own space.'

'Please don't be under the impression that this is to be a long term arrangement, Lupin,' Snape sighed, 'However, in the _short term_... You're welcome to stay.'

Remus acknowledged the fact that this act of kindness was probably a physical strain on Snape. He released a sigh of relief and sunk back against the front door. Although he would be staying with Snape, anything would be better than living in this hell hole.

He straightened himself again and outstretched a grateful hand.

'Thank you for this, Severus. I know it's far from ideal for you, but I'll try make it as painless as possible.'

With a cautious eyeball of Lupin's hand, Snape took it grudgingly and the two shared in their very first handshake.

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**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here goes chapter 2!**

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Remus shivered as he waited on the damp cobblestones of Spinner's End, while in front of him Snape whispered various incantations to unlock his front door. Absent-mindedly tapping the small suitcase that he held to his chest, Remus looked up and down the narrow street. It was in total darkness and completely deserted, and he couldn't imagine how anyone could ever feel truly at home there. But then again, Snape wasn't just _anyone_.

Lupin turned his attention back to Severus who had by then completed the lengthy task of unlocking the door, and was now standing inside, staring out at him blankly.

'Do you intend to skulk there all night, Lupin?' he enquired in a voice that dripped with sarcasm, 'Only, the muggle children in this area can be very unforgiving to the homeless.'

Remus simply frowned in reply, too exhausted to even think of retaliating. He stepped inside past Severus, who was holding the door open for him, and placed his suitcase on the wooden floor with a groan as his back gave a painful throb. Looking around, Remus noticed how lacking the house was in furniture. It was probably just as well because it certainly wasn't a very spacious living space. To his left was what looked like the sitting room and to his right he caught a glimpse of a small kitchen. His eyes wandered along the length of the staircase that sprawled upwards in front of where he stood and that, he guessed, would lead to a bedroom or two.

'Don't leave that there,' Snape hissed behind him, pointing at Lupin's battered old case after finishing his locking spells all over again on the front door, 'Do you want us tripping over it all night?'

Lupin blinked out of his daze and distractedly bent down to pick it up again; but before he could, Snape had stepped forward and scooped it up himself.

'You're hardly in any state for heavy lifting,' Severus remarked, lifting the case as if it weighed no more than a feather and continued forward to the stairs. He glanced back at Remus who looked quite taken-aback by the simple act of kindness, and gestured for him to follow.

They both ascended the steep steps in relative silence except for Snape occasionally stating a house rule to his new guest. They finally reached the next floor and headed towards the end of a gloomy corridor where Snape abruptly stopped.

'This is your room,' he nodded to a door on his left, 'And mine,' he added, pointing to a door at the opposite end of the hall.

'Couldn't get far enough away from me, eh?' Lupin grinned somewhat half-heartedly while Severus opened the door to his new room and put the suitcase down on the floor inside.

Snape merely glared at him. 'Nowhere could ever be far enough,' he muttered before hastily leaving Lupin alone in the room.

'Oh. Goodnight then,' Lupin mumbled to no one in particular.

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Remus awoke three hours later on the bed, still fully clothed except for his lack of shoes and socks. His mind was so fuzzy that he couldn't even remember what he had done after Snape had left the room, but presumably he had been so exhausted that he had simply collapsed onto the bed and drifted off. He sat up stiffly and looked out the window – it was still completely pitch black outside.

The fact that he hadn't eaten for a very long time became all too clear when his stomach gave an angry grumble, and so he decided that now would be a good time to get acquainted with the kitchen.

He padded down the stairs and into the kitchen where he was greeted with the low hum of the fridge and the sound of the occasional drop that leaked from the faucet. He headed in the direction of the fridge, but before he managed to open it's door, something else that lay on top of it caught his eye.

He picked up the old sheet of paper and examined it closely. On it was quite a muddled drawing, but Remus could still make out the figures. On the left in his usual black robes was the Potions Master holding up what looked like a beaker of green liquid. Over the figure was written 'Godfather'. And on the right was a child with blonde hair on a broom with the name 'Draco' underneath.

'What do you think you're doing?'

Remus jumped and turned around to find Snape, wearing a dark robe over plain black pyjamas, staring angrily at him from the doorway.

'Oh, Severus – Sorry, I didn't mean to pry - '

Snape approached him and snapped the picture out of his hand.

'I'm sure you didn't,' he mumbled.

Remus could have sworn he saw a hint of a smile spread across Snape's mouth for a moment as he looked fondly down at Draco's drawing, but it was gone as quick as a flash and soon replaced once again by his familiar glower.

'Is there a specific reason you're here or did you just feel like snooping around?' Snape asked curtly, scrutinizing Lupin who stood next to him awkwardly.

'Look, I wasn't – I was just hungry.'

'What would you like to eat?'

It was just about the most out-of-character thing Remus had heard come out of Snape's mouth so far, and he couldn't help but smile a little. Suddenly self-conscious, Snape averted his gaze from Lupin and cleared his throat. He didn't like how Remus made him feel exposed sometimes with those stares of his.

'I wouldn't mind scrambled eggs actually,' Remus grinned, 'If you have any that is?'

Snape nodded before walking over to the fridge, on top of which he replaced Draco's picture, and opening it. As Severus took out a box of eggs and prepared them with a swish of his wand, Remus wandered around aimlessly behind him. He then spotted the bread store in a corner on the worktop and headed towards it.

'What are you doing?' Snape asked without looking up from the saucepan in which the eggs were now sizzling.

'I'm making us toast,' Remus replied cheerfully as he took out two slices and popped them into the toaster, 'Is that alright with you, Severus?'

He received no reply except a quick glance - which Remus took as progress.

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Later they sat in silence around the small table with their appetites fully satisfied by the simple meal. They both sipped at their mugs of tea, occasionally stealing glances at each other in an attempt to size the other up.

'I didn't realise Draco was your Godson,' Remus finally said.

'It's not the type of thing that would usually come up in a discussion between you and I, is it?' replied Snape quietly before taking another sip of tea.

'No. I suppose not. Are you two very close?' Remus asked, genuinely curious.

'If this is your attempt at making small talk, Lupin, then don't bother,' Snape exhaled, slumping back in his seat and fixing his eyes on Remus again, 'There's no need.'

Remus pursed his lips. '_Too soon to get personal,' _he noted to himself.

He looked down at his watch and was startled to see how late it was.

'Christ, it's twenty-past three,' he muttered while he stood up and brought his dish and cup over to the sink, 'I'll just clean this up and head back to bed.'

'Never mind that,' Snape instructed back to him from where he was still seated, 'I'll do that myself later.'

'Oh – Alright then. Thank you. And thanks for the eggs as well,' Remus replied gratefully.

He headed groggily towards the doorway to make his exit, but before disappearing up the stairs he looked back at Severus, who still hadn't got up from his seat, and gave a faint smile.

'Goodnight Severus.'

'Mmm hmm.'


	3. Chapter 3

**And off we go with chapter 3! Hope it's a good one and thanks for reading ;]**

**Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own the characters. That would be JKR ^^ **

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The next morning, Remus was relaxing on the couch, engrossed in a book, when he suddenly felt a presence looming overhead. Sure enough, he looked up to find a tired-looking Snape standing over him and holding out a small vial of greyish liquid for Remus to take.

'Here,' he told Lupin with a little shake of the vial between his slender fingers, 'Drink it.'

Remus was confused and, he had to admit, a little weary. Whatever it was that Snape was offering him, it certainly didn't look at all appetizing. He looked at the Potions Master blankly.

'But – Severus, what _is _it?'

'It's for your cough,' Snape replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

'Oh - '

'I could hear you from my room last night. You really shouldn't let something like that go untreated or it could get much worse.'

Remus carefully took the vial from Severus' hand, all the while searching the man's face. For what, he wasn't quite sure. What he did know, though, was that he was touched that Severus had gone to the trouble of brewing it for him. He didn't even think his cough was terribly bad, just a tickly one that bothered him at night time.

'Severus, you really didn't have to - '

'Actually I did if I wanted to get a good nights sleep any time soon,' Snape interrupted with a blood curdling scowl, before swiftly disappearing back into the kitchen once again.

Despite Snape's adamant denial that it had not been for Lupin's benefit, Remus couldn't help but think that he doth protest too much...

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Later on that day while Severus was out on business, Remus found himself alone with absolutely nothing to do. Shortly after breakfast Snape had left the house to pick up various potion ingredients in Diagon Alley, some of which would be needed for Remus' Wolfsbane brew. Remus had offered to go along with him for the company - already aware of what the answer would be – but, predictably, Snape had flatly declined.

The werewolf heaved a sigh as he found himself standing in the centre of the kitchen following a long time spent shuffling around the house. Through a window at the opposite end of the room he was surprised to see what looked like a garden at the rear of the house. Walking out the back door and stepping through a rusty gate, Remus discovered what was mostly an overgrown mess encased by a tall wooden fence that lined the perimeter. It was a mass of dark greens and browns and withering yellows - All except for a beautiful rose bush that grew in a corner, it's red flowers in full bloom as they basked in the sun's intermittent rays.

Remus approached it, carefully dodging the nettles and briars along the way. It looked terribly out of place in what was otherwise the beginnings of a forest, and Remus wondered what on earth were the circumstances behind the bush being there in the first place. '_Snape doesn't seem like the gardening type'_, he thought with a puzzled scratch of his head.

The sound of a door opening to his right made him look up. There standing on the doorstep with his arms folded was Snape; his eyes fixed on Remus. To Lupin's relief, he didn't look angry, nor grumpy in any way – just... _blank._

Remus always considered himself to be a good reader of body language, but here, now, he honestly had no idea what was going on between he and Severus, and for some reason it unnerved him deeply.

'You're home,' was all Lupin could think of saying to him.

Snape put his arms back down by his side as he slowly began to approach the other man.

'It would seem so,' he finally replied when he reached Lupin's side.

'I see you've discovered the roses,' he added with a nod towards the bush that sprawled out before them.

'I have. They're not what I expected to see around these parts, to be honest with you,' Remus commented with a glance over his shoulder at Snape.

Even in the warm evening glow of the sun, which would lighten up even the harshest of faces, Snape still looked so pale, and the shadows around his eyes were just as prevalent as ever before. Contrary to the impression Snape had given earlier, Remus doubted he had ever really gotten a good nights sleep judging by his haggard appearance. And Lupin thought _he _looked rough...

'They look absolutely obscene. I don't know why she bothered planting them there in the first place,' Snape spat in a sudden change of mood.

'Do – do you mean your mother?' Remus asked cautiously after a pause, wondering if she was one of the many topics Snape refused to speak about.

Snape's brow furrowed while he appeared to ponder the question and whether he would answer it or not. He finally seemed to make up his mind and opened his mouth to respond.

'Yes. My mother,' he mumbled in a low voice, 'She put some sort of charm on them that makes the roses tend to themselves.'

'Oh,' Remus chuckled, 'I thought that maybe you had a touch of green fingers when I saw them, but clearly I was wrong.'

'Are you mad,' Snape sneered, 'I haven't been out in this eyesore for months.'

The two stood looking at the bush for another few moments before Remus finally turned to Severus.

'Lets get something to eat and have a firewhiskey, eh?'

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That evening, following a quick meal and after Snape had added an ingredient or two to the Wolfsbane potion, the two men found themselves seated by the fire, a mug of firewhiskey each in their hand.

'Dumbledore tells me that big mutt, Black, is hiding out in his mother's house now - is that correct?'

'You mean my _friend _Sirius? Yes, that's right. The house is a mess at the moment from what he tells me, but he seems to be doing very well actually.'

'I'm so glad to hear it.' Snape scoffed.

Remus gave him a disapproving look at first, but he was unable to keep a grin from spreading across his mouth as Snape's dark eyes met his. He guessed it must be the drink.

'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Severus,' he tutted playfully.

'Well, it seems to amuse you,' was the Potions Master's reply while his mouth too suddenly began to break into a ghost of a smile, 'So it mustn't be that awful.

There was a short pause before Remus spoke again.

'Perhaps you're just a bad influence on me,' he remarked in a quieter voice than he had intended.

The two sat in silence for a strange few moments, regarding each other. Any hint of a smile soon disappeared from their faces, as they both realised they had been staring for longer than what was normal. Snape's gaze flickered away, as he shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

'It's late,' he grumbled as he abruptly rose to his feet, 'Do try not to make too much noise if you're staying down here for longer. You have a habit of... walking loudly.'

And with that, he exited the room and trudged up the stairs to bed.

Snape found himself awake for most of that night. Only, this time, it wasn't because of Remus' coughing.

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	4. Chapter 4

**Ding ding ding! It's chapter 4 - Hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: I'm sure you're all aware that JKR owns these lovely characters, and not me =]**

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The following evening as Remus was hanging up a shirt in his wardrobe, something strange in the corner of it happened to catch his eye.

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'You have a record player!' he gaped, throwing his hands into the air to illustrate his disbelief.

Snape, whom Remus had immediately beckoned with a shout down the stairs, had joined him in the bedroom and now stood looking at him, expressionless.

'Yes,' he replied in a deadpan voice, raising an eyebrow.

Remus's eyes widened expectantly while he waited for Snape to expand on how he, of all people, came into possession of one. But all he received was that same blank, unreadable expression.

'But – I mean – _Why_ do youhave one?!' Remus questioned, 'I'm sorry but music really doesn't seem to fit the Severus Snape persona.'

'Thank you for that, Lupin,' Snape retorted, all the while looking slightly offended by Remus' words, 'But that contraption isn't _mine. _It belonged to my father. As did the records in that box at the back of the wardrobe.'

Remus, now more curious than before, knelt down on the floor and peered further into the darkness of the dusty old cupboard. Sure enough, his hand soon fell upon a sizeable wooden case that he then lifted out and placed at Severus' feet.

'Shall we?' he asked with a mischievous grin up at Snape.

At first, Severus looked uncertain and hesitated for a moment. But soon he gave in with a sigh before he too got down on his knees.

'Would you like to do the honours?' Remus asked him gesturing towards the latch on the box.

'Not particularly,' Snape muttered with a seething look down his nose at it.

'Alright then.'

Flicking open the latch and drawing back the lid, Remus eagerly beheld the contents inside. There, stacked immaculately in their sleeves, were dozens and dozens of records just waiting to be listened to. With a quick glance across at Snape, as if to ask for permission, Remus reached down and plucked out a random record. He turned it over and beamed at what he saw.

'Somewhere Beyond The Sea by Bobby Darin,' he revealed happily, 'God, it's been a long time since I've heard that one.'

He brought his gaze up to look at Severus, waiting for some kind of reaction. Snape, however, didn't seem to know how to respond.

'Is it... good?' he asked slowly, clearly thrown by Remus' stare.

'Yes, it's good!' Lupin laughed.

He paused before suddenly turning around, pulling the record out of it's sleeve and setting it carefully on the turntable. The sound of a big jazz band immediately came floating out of the gramophone once the needle was in place, causing a blissful look to automatically spread across Remus' face.

Bemused, Snape sat back on the floor and watched as Lupin rose to his feet and began to do the foxtrot around the bedroom with a pretend partner, humming along to the song as he did so.

'I'm sure this Robby Darin person is turning in his grave,' Severus said after a while with a snort at the werewolf.

Remus stopped and regarded Snape smirking up at him.

'Well,' he said, slowly approaching the Potions master, 'if you think you can do better, then prove it.'

And with that, Remus directed an outstretched hand towards Snape, 'And it's _Bobby _Darin, by the way.'

Snape stared at Lupin's hand as if he was holding out a plate of worms.

'I think it's time you acted like an adult,' he scowled, not budging an inch.

'Oh, come on Severus, don't be so uptight.'

'I don't appreciate being harassed in my own home, Lupin,' he hissed back.

Deciding to ignore Snape's flat-out refusal, Remus bent down, grabbed the man's thin hands and roughly heaved him upwards until they stood torso to torso.

In the background, the song rather inconveniently came to an end, leaving an alarming quietness that smothered the room. It was then Remus realised, with a nervous jolt in his stomach, that he had just put them both in an extremely uncomfortable situation.

The two looked downwards to see that Remus' hands were still tightly clasped around Snape's, just below their chins. Without warning and to his annoyance, Remus could feel a tinge of pink begin to rise in his cheeks.

'Let go. _Right. Now.' _Snape uttered, doing everything he could to avoid Remus' eyes. When the other man still failed to move, Severus harshly pulled away.

Remus opened his mouth to say something - anything; but nothing came out.

Realising that there was absolutely no way to end this encounter properly, Snape simply left the bedroom, angry at both himself and Remus – For what reason, he wasn't completely sure of yet.

Meanwhile back in the room, a light had suddenly switched on in Remus' head...

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	5. Chapter 5

**I'm not too sure if I did this chapter properly, but meh, I'll let you guys decide for yourselves. Thanks for reading if you are in fact reading it and please feel free to review!**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Sigh.**

The next few days following the incident in Remus' bedroom were tense to begin with, but both men seemed to be adhering to an unspoken rule that meant it would never again be brought up. And so, they soon allowed themselves to relax in one another's company just like it had been before.

Saturday soon crept up on Spinner's End, a day on which Severus had decided he would venture to Diagon Alley for further ingredients. Remus decided that, for once, he would go along with him whether Snape like it or not. Besides, Harry's birthday was coming up soon and he wanted to have a look around for a present.

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Remus wandered aimlessly down Diagon Alley, just one person in a huge sea of people; mothers buying robes for their children, old men chattering amongst themselves, couples walking arm in arm - all looking happy and content as they went about their business.

After splitting up with Snape hours ago to buy some gifts for Harry (quite a sizeable packet of his favourite sweets and a book on all the major Quidditch teams over the years including entertaining pictures of various famous players), Lupin had decided to do a bit of rambling. Then, glancing absent-mindedly through the window of Slug and Jiggers Apothecary, he was surprisingly happy to see a familiar face.

'Hello,' Remus greeted Severus inside the apothecary where he was scrutinizing a jar containing some kind of herb.

'Oh,' Severus mumbled, with a quick look up, 'It's you.'

'What's that you've got there?' Remus asked, squinting down at the jar in Snape's hand.

'Nothing that would interest you, needless to say,' was all he got. Remus had gotten used to those kinds of answers. In fact, he had come to expect them.

While Snape continued to analyse the strange herb, Remus' eyes fell on a woman at the counter. He guessed she was in her late thirties, overall quite plain looking, and apparently worked there. But that wasn't what caught his attention. No, it was the fact that she had fixed a firm stare on the oblivious Severus, who was still engrossed in his potion ingredients.

_'Christ, could she **be** any more obvious?' _Remus scowled.

He turned back to Severus and nudged him.

'Who's that woman?' he asked with a nod in her direction.

'I believe her name is Lila Bartleby,' replied Snape distractedly. He then lowered the jar and looked at Remus properly for the first time in days.

'Why? Looking for a mate?' he queried with a sneer that was more cruel than it usually was.

'No, no, not that,' Remus shook his head, 'I just think she rather fancies you, wouldn't you say?'

'Don't be such a child, Lupin,' Severus scowled before breezing past Remus and going up to the very counter where Miss Bartleby stood to pay for his chosen herbs.

'See?' Remus whispered when Snape had returned after paying and they both headed for the exit, 'And now she's watching you leave - '

'Would you drop it, please,' Snape ordered, growing more annoyed with him. They were now out in the midst of the hustle and bustle of Diagon Alley once again, and continued to walk down the street at a leisurely pace.

'What? I'm only making an observation,' Lupin persisted, 'Besides, I would've thought you'd find it... Well, flattering.'

'I don't _care_ – Will you just stop?'

Remus couldn't help but feel annoyed that he was getting absolutely nowhere with Snape. Honestly, sometimes it was like trying to heave a bolder up a mountain.

'Do you... like her?' Remus questioned. He was dying to know.

Snape ignored him, deciding it was the only way that he would ever get Lupin off his case. _Do you like her? - _What a moronic question.

'Severus?'

'_What_ do you _want_?' Snape hissed throwing his eyes up to the clouds and quickening his pace.

'I just wanted to know if you found her attractive!'

Snape abruptly stopped in his tracks and turned to face Lupin who's silly grin faded when he saw Severus' grave expression.

'Why are you doing this, Remus?'

Lupin was taken aback. He noticed something distinctly strange in the way Snape had asked him the question. Almost as if he was pleading, like he was genuinely hurt by Remus' suggestions.

'I'm... I'm sorry. I was only poking a little fun. It wasn't meant to offend you.

Snape glared directly into Lupin's eyes for a moment before turning back to continue down the alley once again, still seeming somewhat troubled by the conversation.

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The next day Remus strolled down an unusually sunny Spinner's End feeling content and totally stress-free for the first time in an age. He had just returned from Grimmauld Place, now Sirius' permanent home, where he had received wonderful news.

'Afternoon, Severus!' he chided as he stepped through the front door and entered the sitting room where his housemate sat, lost in a book on the couch, 'Isn't it a glorious day?'

Snape merely grunted, not even bothering to lift his eyes from the pages.

'You'll be glad to know there have been some big developments regarding my housing situation,' Remus beamed down at him.

Snape's stomach gave an uncomfortable jolt. Does this mean Lupin would be... leaving? Despite the feeling of anxiety that was now pulsing in his chest, Severus refused to let himself look up at Remus. Instead, he pretended to continue reading, as if too engrossed to care about what Lupin had to say.

'Oh?'

'Mm hmm. Sirius very kindly offered me a permanent room at the Black Mansion! He said he didn't like the idea of me staying in your dingy...'

Remus trailed off, realising what he was about to blurt out. Under usual circumstances, i.e. thoroughly disliking Severus, he wouldn't have given a toss about hurting his feelings. But things were different now.

'I was under the impression that that dive was ready to cave in on itself,' Snape commented absent-mindedly while turning a page.

'Well, it's nearly finished renovations so it's not far off from being in perfect working order.'

Snape's jaw clenched, almost as a reflex, yet he still wouldn't look up.

'You're better off back in that germ-infested London flat of yours than you'll ever be at Black's, if you ask me.'

Remus regarded him, puzzled. Shouldn't Snape practically be packing his bags for him and shoving him out the door now that there was finally somewhere else for him to go? This wasn't the reaction he expected at all.

Remus opened his mouth to reply, but before he could utter a word Snape had risen to his feet and disappeared from the room, mumbling something about '... can't get a moment's peace...'

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That evening after supper, the two men sat at the kitchen table in that familiar silence that they so often shared.

'Do me a favour and take that awful record player with you when you leave,' Snape suddenly muttered, his eyes firmly focused on the mug of tea in his hand, 'And don't forget the box of records while you're at it.'

'Oh, Severus – I couldn't possibly - '

'_Yes _you can.'

'But, don't they have some sort of... sentimental value for you?'

Snape tore his gaze away from the mug to look at Remus, his face pinched with confusion.

'Whatever do you mean 'sentimental', Lupin?'

'Well, they belonged to your father who - who isn't around anymore,' Remus told him with a sympathetic tilt of his head, 'Wouldn't it be nice to have them there just to remind you of him?'

'And tell me, seeing as you appear to have an extensive knowledge on _everything_, why would I want a reminder of him?' demanded Snape who turned in his seat so that he was now facing Remus dead-on.

Remus gulped, realising that he had delved into dangerous territory. Why had he been so stupid? Back in his school days, Remus had always suspected that there was something not quite right about the Snape household. His theory was fuelled by the fact that the teenage Severus would often come back to Hogwarts after school breaks at home with suspicious bruises dotting his body – or at least, on the few areas that he would show. But, being a Gryffindor – sworn enemies of the Slytherins, no one else in his house seemed to care when he brought it up.

'I, ah – I realise that you didn't have the easiest time at home when you were younger, Severus, but - '

'What are you talking about – who told you that?'

A fire seemed to ignite in Severus' dark eyes causing Remus to wince in fear. He knew he had to choose his words carefully from here on in.

'Nobody told me anything - '

'So you're a liar as well as a know-it-all. Christ, I don't know why I even subjected myself to your mindless jabbering these past few weeks - ' Snape seethed in an increasingly raised voice.

'No, you're taking this the wrong way,' pleaded Remus, 'I just thought that you might want to put any bad feelings you have towards your father to rest and – well, focus on his good traits, like the fact that he loved music and - '

Snape scraped his chair back from the table and stood up so that he towered over Remus, his furious eyes searing a hole into the werewolf's head. In the background the lights of the kitchen began to flicker on and off uneasily.

'My father was no more than a pathetic, low-life tyrant, who did nothing worthwhile with his life except have the decency to choke on his own vomit after 5 bottles of whiskey and _die_,' Snape shouted bitterly, before all the dishes that had been on the table suddenly flew off it and violently smashed into the opposite wall.

The two men stared at each other in deafening silence for what seemed like hours; both either too scared or too furious to move. Snape simply glared down at Remus as his chest heaved in and out with each angry breath, utterly enraged that the werewolf had seen him lose his composure so completely like that. He finally plucked out his wand and pointed it at the mess that now lay strewn across the floor.

'Reparo,' Snape said in a shaky voice and, like clockwork, the debris began to reassemble on the floor. Then with a quick swish of his wand, the newly repaired cups and plates proceeded to float over to the cupboards at the opposite side of the kitchen and place themselves neatly inside.

The look of sheer unhappiness on Snape's face made Remus feel truly awful. The last thing he wanted was to make the man miserable. He had no idea of the hatred Severus had held for his father all these years, and he couldn't imagine how it felt. Remus had always had a very close relationship with both his parents, and the thought of one of them ever mistreating him in any way was unthinkable.

Severus turned his back on Remus and walked to the sink where he stared out into the blackness of night through the window.

'Severus, I'm so sorry,' Lupin sighed after getting to his feet and approaching the other man. Once he had reached his side, Remus raised a hand and placed it on Snape's shoulder in an effort to comfort him. But to his disappointment, it was stubbornly shrugged away.

'Look, I wouldn't have said all those stupid things if I had known... ' Lupin entreated, but he decided that silence would probably be for the best in a moment like this.

The two stood like that for a time before Snape spoke again.

'So you'll take the records and record player then?' he asked with an ironic almost-smile over his shoulder at Remus.

Relief spread over Lupin like sunshine on an otherwise cold day, and he couldn't help but smile back at Snape.

'If that's what you want, then I'll do it,' he replied quietly. Then, curiously, as he watched Snape turn to stare out the window once again, Remus felt a strange tugging in his chest -

'Anything... you want,' Remus swallowed.

Then, before realising himself what he was doing, he had leaned across to Snape and kissed him softly on the cheek.

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	6. Chapter 6

**This may sound silly, but I was listening to a lovely song called Any Other Name from the American Beauty soundtrack and a gorgeous gorgeous piece called La Vega by Albeniz while I was writing this chapter - think they really helped to put me in the scene. They're both on YouTube if you want to look them up - just a suggestion!**

**Sorry this chapter took longer than my usual pace – had some college essays to do and stuff. Plus writing smut makes me nervous!**

**Disclaimer: I'm _not _JKR which means I don't own these characters, nor do I make money from this... Sadly...**

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_- Then, before realising himself what he was doing, he had leaned across to Snape and kissed him softly on the cheek. -_

The moment was over as quickly as it had started. Remus immediately felt sheer dread descend over his body like a Dementor attack as he sensed Snape tensing up underneath his touch – or rather, his mouth.

_Why had he done that?_

He pulled away from Severus almost instantaneously, his eyes like saucers as he raised a hand up to his own mouth.

'Oh, Christ. I'm – I'm sorry,' Remus stuttered, 'I don't know what came over me. I just...'

He trailed off, not knowing exactly how to finish the sentence. He was lost. Utterly lost. Now all that was left for him to do was to suffer the consequences of his bad decision.

Like some kind of outer-body experience, Remus felt his legs moving beneath him, slowly edging him away from Snape and the impossible situation he had just created between them. Meanwhile, Snape stood frozen by the window.

Finally, after a motionless few seconds, he inclined his head in Remus' direction and stared, wide-eyed, at him. Then, bringing a hand up to his cheek, he touched the skin that Lupin had kissed, almost as if he had been slapped there.

Seeing Snape's reaction, Remus frustratedly grabbed a fistful of his own auburn hair and groaned at his own stupidity. _Of course Snape wasn't attracted to him. Snape isn't attracted to _anyone_, let alone another man. _ The tension proved too much for him, and so he hastily disappeared from the kitchen and traipsed up the stairs.

Once inside his room, he heaved a bitter sigh and propped himself against the wooden frame at the foot of the bed. The room was engulfed in darkness, but he hardly even noticed. His mind was elsewhere; lost in the memory of tasting Snape's skin, of his nose brushing against a few stray strands of raven hair, of being so aware that he could just as easily bite down on the man's exposed neck...

'When are you leaving?'

Remus looked up and was startled to find Snape standing at the doorway, his eyes routed to the floor, refusing to meet Remus', and his shoulders slumped.

'Sirius suggested tomorrow evening,' Remus replied quietly before quickly adding 'But I can go sooner... if you want me to.'

Snape brought a tense hand up to his forehead and squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a heavy sigh as he did so. Then, raising his head, he gazed sadly into the bedroom at Remus. After a clear of his throat, Snape straightened his posture and determinedly stepped through the doorway, as if it were a threshold to a new world, and approached an anxious-looking Lupin.

Remus cautiously rose to his feet, and didn't dare breathe as the Potions Master finally came to a stop just inches away from him. He was slightly taller than Snape, but that didn't stop him from bracing himself in anticipation for the moment when Severus would whip out his wand to hex him - just like the troublesome Marauder days at Hogwarts. The suspense was absolute torture.

Straining his eyes to cut through the darkness, Remus could barely distinguish the expression on Snape's face. All he could make out were frown lines framing a pair of black eyes that stared unblinkingly back at him.

'I'm sorry -' Remus began, but he was suddenly cut off by the sensation of a slender hand on each side of his face.

All at once, Lupin felt every inch of his body become rigid as his top lip was enveloped by an incredibly soft mouth.

The kiss had been a fleeting moment, but it had certainly left both of them wanting more. Snape broke away, as if in shock at his own actions. In shock, yet.... curiously... happy. A strange sensation was now pulsing in his stomach, making him flinch when Remus' hands came to rest on his waist. The grasp soon tightened and Snape felt himself being led inwards to close the space between them.

Both relished in the surge of warmth that drifted over them as each suddenly became aware of the other's body heat. Reflexively raising an eyebrow as he brushed up against Remus' crotch, Snape noticed something distinctly hard. He was pleasantly surprised that he could have such an effect on someone.

Seeing a glint of his reaction, Remus grinned - half embarrassed, half amused – before leaning in to kiss Severus for the second time that evening. Only, this time, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Snape breathed in sharply as their lips met once again and Remus' arms enveloped him in a tight embrace. Unable to help himself, his fingers slid back from Lupin's face and combed through the man's unkempt auburn hair with those light specks of grey that he liked so much.

The taste of strawberries – or something like it – delighted Remus as the kiss became more heated and the two gradually began to open their mouths in curiosity. Wave after wave of bliss washed over the men as their tongues rhythmically drifted together, bringing with it an intoxicating surge of lust.

Grips tightened and breaths became more laboured as their confidence slowly grew. Lupin clutched at the Potion Master's hair and grew almost light-headed as Severus trailed kisses starting from his cheek that lead all the way down the length of his neck, abruptly coming to a stop at the collar of Remus' shirt. Snape glanced up at him as if to check if the werewolf had changed his mind.

However, any worries Snape might have had were soon laid to rest when he received a reassuring kiss, and so with slender fingers he started to unbutton Remus's shirt, all the while continuing to gently bite down on the man's neck.

This whole experience was beyond surreal for Snape, considering he had been fantasizing about it for quite some time now. Remus' first night in Spinner's End when they sat eating scrambled eggs was the exact instant when Snape had really noticed him; his endearing shyness, his kind nature, his genuinely sweet disposition - all things that Severus hadn't encountered in a person for a very long time, and which ultimately sparked his attraction. Not to mention the fact that Remus was one of the very few people that actually knew how to deal with him.

And now, here he was, drawing back the material of Lupin's shirt to reveal a battered torso with scars and faded bruises dotting the fair flesh. No doubt an occupational hazard for werewolves.

Remus grimaced self-consciously when he saw Snape pause to look at it.

'Not very pretty, is it?'

'Very much in keeping with the rest of your appearance,' Snape smirked, tracing a finger down Lupin's exposed chest.

Remus feigned offence at the crass remark. Then, with a snarl, he roughly backed Severus against the wall causing a grunt to escape him when his back made contact with it. Tilting his head to one side, Snape smiled as Remus bit his ear and began to undo his trademark black tunic.

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At a happy medium between pain and pleasure, Remus finally cried out, shuddering underneath Snape's grasp as a blood-boiling warmth radiated from his groin. He opened his eyes to see Severus above him give his last thrust before he too gasped and shivered with pleasure. His clutch around Remus' waist loosened and, in an impossibly elegant way, his head dropped slowly down onto the werewolf's chest with a sigh.

The two remained motionless for a few moments - Remus laying down on the surface of an old chest of drawers while Severus helped to prop him up at the waist – and tried to catch their breaths.

Drifting a hand over his dark hair, Remus gazed down at Snape, having no particular motivation to ever move from that position.

He was soon awakened from his daze, however, when all at once Severus had pulled away and started to put back on the clothes that had been torn off him by Lupin.

'Wait, where are you going?' Remus enquired looking thoroughly puzzled.

'I would imagine it's fairly obvious, wouldn't you Lupin?' came the reply. He became annoyed when Remus failed to understand what he was getting at, 'I'm going to bed.'

And with that, he turned and headed for the door.

'Then I'll come with you!' Remus chirped as he slid off the chest of drawers and pulled on his shirt and a pair of boxers.

Severus looked on at him as he did so, feeling guilty and slightly irritated that Remus wasn't taking the hint.

'No,' he declined with a shake of his head, 'I don't think that would be very appropriate.'

Remus stopped mid-step as he went to approach Snape at the doorway.

'Appropriate?' he gaped, 'Severus, we just shagged on a chest of drawers – how much more inappropriate can you get?'

'Please don't argue with me on this, Lupin -'

'Why do you have to do that?' Remus interrupted, a look of anger dawning on his face.

'Oh, what are you whining on about now?' snapped Severus, lifting his eyes up to the ceiling.

'You're such a bloody idiot, Severus - Every time somebody tries to get close you just hide yourself away as if you have some kind of disease!'

'You don't have a clue, do you?' Snape spat indignantly, throwing his hands up into the air with a seething glare at Remus, 'You're _leaving_ tomorrow, Lupin. Gone. Out of my life, apart from the odd chance meeting. Striking up some kind of a – a _thing_ with you at this stage would be beyond foolish.'

Remus simply stood there, not knowing what to say in response to Severus' outburst. It was hard to admit to himself, but Snape was right. The tumultuous state of the wizarding world, not to mention the fact that Severus was deeply involved with matters regarding Lord Voldermort, meant that forming any sort of relationship would be difficult to say the least. Worst of all, Remus knew that every day that went by with Snape working as a double spy, his life would be in mortal danger. The fact was that he could easily be exposed and murdered at any time. And where would that leave Remus?

With nothing left to say between the two of them, Snape quietly left the room and disappeared down the hall to his own one. After whipping out his wand, he put a silencing charm on the room, and with a furious growl, he kicked a hole in the wall.

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**More to come shortly =]**

**Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I couldn't do it! You're right - sad endings are just no fun at all, so here's the next chapter. I'll be updating soon!**

**Disclaimer: This is purely to indulge my Remus/Severus slash fantasies – I'm not making any money from it. JKR owns the characters, yada yada yada...**

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Not an ounce of strength left in his body after a restless night, Snape trudged down the stairs to find a familiar old suitcase propped against the wall by the front door. Peering into the kitchen, he was startled to see a motionless Remus leaning against the counter and staring down at his feet.

'Lupin?'

Remus glanced up with equally exhausted-looking eyes. He forced a smile at Snape, but somehow it didn't reach his eyes and it turned out looking quite subdued.

'Morning, Severus,' he croaked, stepping away from the counter.

'Are you leaving? Now?' Snape asked, trying to camouflage the note of urgency in his question.

'Yes, all ready to go,' replied Lupin somewhat apologetically.

'It's not even midday.'

'I know - and I hope you don't take it as being rude - but it's just... I thought it'd be for the best.'

Snape snorted bitterly in response before something suddenly dawned on him, causing him to disappear back up the stairs. He arrived down again mere seconds later with none else than the gramophone clutched in his arms and the box of records floating slowly down the stairwell in his wake. With a glance at Remus, he carefully bent down to leave both items at the werewolf's feet and rose up again, now face to face with him.

'And don't even think about asking me if I'm _sure _about it,' Snape grumbled gesturing downwards at his father's possessions.

Remus smiled at him fondly. He would miss the man's grumpiness, funnily enough.

'Thank you, Severus. I know you don't realise it, but you really helped me out of a rut these past few weeks.'

Remus outstretched a scarred hand which Severus eventually took and, dragging their gaze up from the handshake, they finally regarded eachother properly for the first time that day.

'It was... nothing,' came Snape's reply, intentionally keeping it short to hide the crack in his voice.

The handshake had stretched on for longer than it should have, yet neither man made an effort to draw back. It pained Remus to think about it, but a handshake – if even that – was all they would have left from that day on. No more sitting down to eat together, no more strange conversations that teetered just on the edge of getting intimate, no more arguments that to an outsider would seem serious but to them was just a bizarre form of flirting... and worst of all, no more making love.

As for Snape, what was most infuriating was that he had gotten a taste – a tantalizing glimpse of what it could be like if he were _really_ with Lupin, only to have it cruelly torn away from him in an instant. He couldn't help wishing he hadn't gotten so attached to the man in the first place. All happiness comes with a price – and he should have known that by now.

With nothing left to lose, Remus lunged forward - Snape's hand still held in his – and pressed his lips to the Potions Master's pale cheek. He was immediately startled to feel a hand close tightly around his upper arm that wouldn't permit him to pull away. Instead, Snape's hand held him firmly in place, while Remus' mouth drifted just millimetres away from Severus' jaw.

Standing there frozen, just feeling Remus' shallow breath against his cheek was enough to drive Snape insane. _He couldn't give in to temptation - He mustn't. _Deciding he could take no more, he turned his head to face Remus -

Then, without warning, an almighty crack sounded from the back garden and echoed in through the open kitchen window, causing the two men to promptly jump out of their daze. Snape swiftly removed his hand from Remus' arm and gruffly pulled himself out of the handshake, before turning on his heel to look out. His jaw clenched when he saw who was outside.

'Ow! Fucking ow!' Remus could hear a familiar voice complain as he followed Snape to the window to see who it was.

Standing there amidst the nettles, briars and overgrown grass was none other than Sirius Black, clutching his arm in pain as he carefully attempted to make his way through the garden without further injury.

It was a pleasant surprise for Remus who quickly fled out the back door to greet his friend. Left alone in the kitchen, Snape watched on, with jealousy steadily taking hold, as the two men grabbed each other into a warm hug.

He braced himself for Sirius' usual insults while he observed the two walk shoulder to shoulder through the door and into the kitchen, the smiles that had been on their faces fading once their eyes fell on Severus.

'What are _you_ doing here, Black?' Snape seethed as he folded his arms indignantly.

'Clearly,' Sirius replied in a voice tinged with disgust, 'I'm being attacked by your bloody garden – if that's what you'd call that mess out there.'

'You're hardly in a position to criticise about tidiness,' Snape smirked, 'I hear your current residence is ready for the wrecking ball.'

Sirius opened his mouth, obviously about to spit out an almighty insult in response to Snape's jibe, but he was quickly cut off by Remus' hand on his shoulder.

'Now, now,' Lupin interrupted with a nervous chuckle, 'Lets not say something we might regret.'

'When it comes to Snape, I never regret what I say,' Sirius hissed, 'Anyway, the reason I'm here is to make sure you're not treating Remus like one of your students, seeing as he wanted to move over to mine so early. If I find out you've been pushing him around...'

Remus' eyes instantly fell to the floor at Sirius' last sentence. What an unfortunate choice of words...

Snape caught his reaction and snorted.

'Well, Lupin?' he drawled, 'Have I been 'pushing you around', would you say?'

'No, no, not at all,' Remus replied hurriedly while still staring at the floor, 'I just wanted to get out from under your feet. You know, give you back your space.'

Snape regarded Lupin for a few moments before speaking again.

'Yes, quite.'

A puzzled Sirius looked from one man to the other, realising that there was more going on than what was meeting the eye.

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After double-checking that he had all his belongings gathered up, Remus stood in the sitting room with Sirius and Snape, who all the while were throwing gratuitous dirty looks at one another.

'Well,' Remus exclaimed, 'That seems to be everything.'

'Right, lets get out of here then,' Sirius told him before swiftly grabbing onto Remus' suitcase in preparation for apparating.

Remus' stomach gave a jolt. So this was it. His time with Severus had come to an end.

He reached down and put a hand each on the gramophone and box of records before looking up at Snape for what would be the last time in a long time.

'Thank you again, Severus,' he told him, 'Take care of yourself.'

Severus fixed his eyes on Remus, unable to make up his mind about what to say back.

'You - ' he began in a hopeless attempt at a goodbye, but it was too late; Remus had disappeared – as had Sirius - with a powerful crack, ' - Too.'

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	8. Chapter 8

**Hi again! I thought I'd fast-forward for this chapter to give time for all that broodiness and angst to seep in. Gotta love that angst ^_^ Anyway it's now set during The Order of The Phoenix, right when the new Order is first assembled after Cedric Diggory's death. In other words, it's almost exactly a year since Remus and Snape last saw each other in Spinner's End.**

**It's a short chappie but I just wanted to get it out there so it'll motivate me to keep writing.**

**Hope it's alright - And don't be afraid to click that review button at the end to let me know your thoughts on it!**

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Remus stared vacantly into the roaring fire from the old armchair in which he was slumped, like a carcass. The shapes of the dancing flames and the shadows they cast around the room had an almost hypnotic effect, and he couldn't help but get lost in thoughts of times gone by. Happier times. Or were they just more eventful? The book he had been reading now lay open, discarded and forgotten, on his lap. He couldn't remember the last time he had been able to finish a book till the last page... Though he guessed it must be a year now.

'Moony? _Moony? _REMUS!'

Remus snapped out of his trance to see Sirius standing a few meters away, craning his neck out of the kitchen doorway to peer in at him. Though still quite thin, the animagus had cleaned up considerably well over the past year. His previously unkempt hair, which had been in very bad condition after his term in Azkaban, was now a pleasant mane of dark, exotic waves. The beard that had come into being purely because there were no razors in prison had now taken the form of a neat goatee. And his eyes, which had last year looked dull to the point of being totally void of life, had since been restored with the sparkle that Remus remembered from their youth.

'Merlin's beard, are you awake at all?' Sirius shouted across the vast expanse of the drawing room.

'What do you want, Sirius?' an agitated Remus grumbled, propping up the book in his lap before it could slump to the ground.

He often felt angry with himself for his radical changes in mood; moods which he inevitably took out on poor Sirius simply because he was the nearest person at those moments. Time and time again he would apologise for his bad temper, which Sirius would always accept with a warm smile as if to say 'Don't worry about it.' But Remus _was _worried about. He was worried he was transforming into a different person, someone who was bitter and and cynical. And unhappy.

'Penny for your thoughts!' Sirius implored in a high-pitched voice. But once he realised Remus was in one of his moods, he continued on.

'Anyway, what I was going to tell you was that there's a couple of people on the way to sort out some Order business,' he said nonchalantly, but Lupin could tell he was practically dancing on the inside at the prospect of having new people to talk to.

'Oh? Like who?' Remus asked as he cast an eye over his book, not particularly interested in the answer.

'More or less the usual crowd; Dumbledore, Kingsley, Tonks, Mad-Eye, McGonagall, that useless git Mundungus, that greasy git Snape, and I think that's about it. Dumbledore was saying that....'

Sirius continued to rattle off information, but Remus could hear none of it anymore as the sound of his own heart thumping in his ears promptly blotted out the voice. Background noise, elevator music - that was all Sirius was now.

_Severus would be here_?! A feeling of intense terror crept up inside Remus and clenched tightly around his gut as his inner-voice repeated the name over and over. _Severus._ He felt like gagging.

The two men hadn't crossed paths - not even once - since their awkward goodbye at Spinner's End last year - something which would surely make this evening uncomfortable, to say the very least. Remus almost felt ashamed of himself, ashamed of all the time he had spent fantasizing about the man, wondering what he was doing and whether he still thought about their time together like he did - Oh, what was he thinking, of course Snape never thought about it. He had better things to do.

Snape didn't even deliver Remus' Wolfsbane potion to him in person, deciding instead to send it in a package by owl. The only form of contact, if you could call it that, came in the form of a confirmation letter that Lupin would send back upon receiving his monthly delivery. It simply read: 'Thank you for the potion. Regards, R.' To write those short, impersonal few words was difficult for Remus. How he had to fight the urge and hold back his hand from writing what he really felt. That he missed him.

The panic continued to spread through Remus like an awful parasite. He flattened down his tangled hair self-consciously; Did he look okay? He was sure he had gotten even worse-looking over the past year –

'Remus, are you even listening to me?' Sirius barked as he stepped into the drawing room to scrutinize his friend properly.

But before Sirius could reach him, Remus had leapt out of the armchair, letting the book fall to the floor with a thump as it's spine hit the wooden boards. He bolted up the stairs, ignoring whatever protests Sirius was making back in the drawing room, and entered his bedroom where he immediately began to peel off almost every item of clothing. When he had finally stripped down to his boxers, he frantically started to rummage through his wardrobe for something more flattering to wear. Heavy deliberation followed and he eventually decided on a cream shirt under a light brown blazer with grey trousers. In other words, some of the few items of clothing that weren't moth-bitten or ripped from countless attacks and transformations.

As he was hunched over buttoning the shirt Remus suddenly heard the sound of the front door creaking open downstairs. His head shot up and his body quickly froze as his werewolf senses flicked into action. Though they were considerably far away, he could still clearly make out the voices; Sirius jovially welcoming the visitors who in turn greeted him back – Dumbledore making soothing, melodious sounds, Minerva with her stern, staccato-esque way of speaking. Then, with a lurch in his gut, Remus heard what his ears had been pining to hear for months and months. He listened, eyes like saucers, as the echo of a pleasing baritone floated like a bubble through the corridor leading to his room, before it finally settled and popped in Remus' ears. _It's him._

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Thanks for reading if you've gotten this far, and I promise I'll be updating soon!


	9. Chapter 9

**Good afternoon (it is _here_ anyway) and a happy Sunday to everyone! It's the best Sunday yet!**

**But seriously, here's the last chapter of this angst ridden boy-love celebration. I hope you've enjoyed it up to now, and I hope you like this chapter as well. It's longer than the others to make up for the obnoxiously short chapter 8 (Sorry about that!), and I went all out on the graphicness... Um, you'll understand what I mean when you see it...**

**And thanks from the tips of my toes for all the lovely lovely reviews - they were a great motivator! Also, LOL at Snapeisnotevil's Evita comment XD**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim these characters! Gah, they're not mine! *Sob* **

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The anticipation that had earlier been squeezing at Remus' stomach, almost making him feel light-headed, soon warped into something distinctly unpleasant. While the voices continued their banter back and forth downstairs, he stared, downcast, into the full length mirror with an exasperated groan. _Why do you look so old? _he demanded with a seething look at his own reflection as a thin hand combed through his increasingly greying hair. He_ could_ do a spell of some kind - something that would have a sort of rejuvenating effect... But, no. It would look like he was trying too hard. Sirius, bless him, would no doubt question him innocently about it in front of the others... In front of Severus.

_The longer you procrastinate about this, the harder it'll get,_ he scolded himself, _Just** go downstairs, **for crying out loud_.

After another quick glance in the mirror ('Yuck'), Remus drew a deep breath inwards in a feeble attempt to compose himself, and finally stepped out of his bedroom and into the corridor.

The voices grew clearer, less muffled as he approached the landing. They seemed to be speaking about Harry.

'I believe Harry is recovering well after the triwizard tournament?' he heard Dumbledore ask.

'Yes, that's right,' Sirius replied through what sounded like a smile, 'He's had a tough time lately, but all wounds heal in time I suppose. And if all goes to plan, I'll be able to have him stay here with me next summer instead of with those obnoxious Dursleys.'

'Is this place really habitable for a teenage boy, Black?' Remus stopped in his tracks. 'I can understand why _you _would have no qualms about living here, what with your low standards - '

'Don't even _start_, Snape,' Sirius interrupted irritably.

'Gentlemen, gentlemen,' Dumbledore cut in with a cheerful voice, as if they were still his pupils, 'Let us remember to maintain _some_ manner of decorum in these difficult times, hmm?'

Upon reaching the landing, Remus carefully peered down onto the scene below as he leaned over the banister. By the front door was Sirius – his face a little flushed from Snape's remark – and Dumbledore standing side by side. Unable to see the others, Remus leaned over further, which, in hindsight, was probably dangerous considering the large drop to the bottom. But he didn't care - He _had_ to see him.

Then, as if a veil had been lifted from his eyes, Remus saw him. Just meters away, close to the foot of the stairs, stood Minerva and an oblivious Severus.

As a light gasp tried to escape from his mouth, Remus paused to watch him. He was different than he remembered; more hunched over and gaunt-looking – though he supposed he was in no position to criticise. Guiltily, Remus secretly wondered, hoped maybe, whether this change in appearance was down to loneliness – the same loneliness that he himself shared. No, that was preposterous. Ageing, pure and simple and_ natural -_ that's all it was.

Besides, Remus didn't care. He still found Snape incredibly... appealing.

Everyone else's face became blurred while Remus absorbed - from a distance - everything Snape did, as if it were the last thing he would ever see; every gesture of his hands, every inhale and exhale, every slight movement of his dark hair which, Remus noticed, now held the odd streak of silver...

Lupin was so utterly hypnotized by him that it never even registered in his mind when Snape suddenly detached himself from the conversation around him and gradually raised his head up. His eyes, more framed with exhaustion than Remus remembered, drifted upwards to follow the passage of the stairwell. Then, with a thud in Remus' chest, they finally fell on the Werewolf.

The two locked gazes. It was a simple moment, but it was enough to totally undo Remus for a heart-wrenching few seconds. Snape's face, on the other hand, was inscrutable, and Lupin felt like grabbing him to shake some kind of emotion – any kind of emotion out of him. _What is he thinking?!_

'Ah Remus, my dear boy - won't you come down?' Dumbledore beamed up, suddenly noticing him.

Promptly painting a pitiful excuse for a smile on his face, Remus finally descended the stairs, breezing past Severus as he went to approach his former Headmaster.

'Albus, good to see you again,' he greeted as he took Dumbledore's outstretched hand, acutely – _unbearably - _aware of Snape's presence looming behind him.

'Good evening, Minerva. Lovely to see you,' he then welcomed McGonagall who smiled warmly back at him.

Finally, with a gulp, as though preparing himself to meet his own death, Remus grudgingly turned around to face Severus. He held out a trembling hand.

The sensation of Snape's skin next to his as their hands met was utterly sublime. All at once, the memory of those same hands grasping at his waist as their owner thrust deeper and deeper inside him came hurtling back to Remus. He felt a colour rising in his cheeks and made to pull away, but found he couldn't; Snape's grip tightened.

'Severus.'

'Lupin.'

'It's been... a while,'

'Yes, it has,' Snape replied coolly, still completely devoid of any outward emotion.

Snape finally released his grip and turned to the others, as if Lupin had been no more than a blip on the radar.

'When are the others arriving?' he asked, bored.

'They'll be here shortly,' Sirius replied gruffly, 'Now if you'd all like to step through to the kitchen.'

Sirius gestured towards a doorway at the end of the hall and led the way while the others followed - including Snape.

Remus waited for Severus to glance back at him as he walked away for _some_ kind of confirmation that... Well, that he _cared. _But he never did.

_---------------------------------------------------_

The meeting had gone by relatively smoothly after the rest of the guests had arrived, though it did have the routine back and forth of insults between Sirius and Snape. Remus, meanwhile, sat silently throughout, brooding over the cool reception he had received earlier.

It was as if nothing had ever changed between he and Severus since their 6th year at Hogwarts. Surely Remus' stay at Spinners End couldn't have been _that_ insignificant for Snape?

Paranoia began to overtake Lupin as he wondered whether it had really ever meant anything at all to the man in the first place. It wouldn't be a huge stretch of the imagination. Snape, after all, was notoriously cold and unemotional. Oh Christ, had he _really_ just waisted a year of his life craving for someone who didn't even give a toss about him?

-------------------------------------

Later, when night had settled around Grimmauld Place and the visitors were finally trickling out of the house, Remus found himself anxiously pacing back and forth in the kitchen. He had a burning question on his mind that he was dying to ask Severus. Yet whether or not he could actually bring himself to ask it was a different story.

Hearing someone pointedly clear their throat behind him, Remus stopped and turned to find Snape leaning against the door frame, his hands tightly clasped behind his back. He leaned forward and peered inside the kitchen, as if checking to see if Remus had other company. Once he saw that they were alone he opened his mouth to speak.

'I saw the house elf, Kreacher, pouring salt into the sugar bowl earlier,' he said in a steady monotone, 'I'd advise keeping a close eye on him.'

Lupin nodded, unsurprised at what Snape had told him. Kreacher had a definite nasty streak.

'I'll make a note of it.'

Snape remained there, looking somewhat put out that Remus didn't say more. Remus, meanwhile, simply stared back at him blankly, wondering what exactly it was that Severus wanted from him.

'I must admit I'm surprised your stay here has lasted so long,' Snape finally quipped, 'I thought you would have tired of Black's company by now, not to mention the bleak surroundings,' he added with a sardonic glance around the run-down old kitchen.

'Well,' sighed Remus, unsmiling, 'It does me just fine. And Sirius is excellent company.'

Snape's expression darkened visibly in response and his gaze fell to the ground, while he still remained, unmoving, at the doorway.

'Did you purposely wait until everyone had left so you could say more than two words to me?'

The question had escaped from Remus' mouth before he could stop it. In a way it was a relief to get it out in the open. He probably wouldn't have forgiven himself otherwise.

Snape's eyes lifted from the floor to meet Remus'.

Lupin could tell that Severus' body was tensing up underneath those layers of constricting clothes - clothes that kept both lean limbs and inconvenient emotions tightly hidden away from prying eyes. He guessed that he must be one of a very small number of people that had seen Snape without them – one of the few that had seen him exposed and vulnerable.

'Whatever do you mean, Lupin?' snapped Severus. He looked defiant, yet Remus could tell he knew exactly what he had meant.

'Don't do that, Severus,' Remus requested quietly with a shake of his head, 'If you have any respect for me at all, you just won't do that.'

Though Snape said nothing, Remus still decided to press on. He had to get to the bottom of this for his own piece of mind. Even if it didn't turn out the way he wanted it to, at least there would be some kind of resolve to the situation.

'Are you really that disgusted by what we did that you have to resort to _ignoring_ me?'

Snape found he couldn't hold his gaze on Remus any longer and so broke from it to stare at the decrepit wooden floorboards.

After a long pause he looked up again, his face empty, not giving anything away.

'I don't have time to exchange sentimental anecdotes on how I _feel _with you_,_ Lupin. This discussion will have to wait until another time.'

And so, turning his tired back on Remus, he walked towards the drawing room in the direction of the front door.

Remus followed in his footsteps, unwilling to let the matter, or Severus, go.

'You know as well as I do that if we don't talk about it tonight then we never will, Severus,' he called after him urgently, 'But if you decide to walk away now, then I'll know how you feel.'

Snape stopped mid-step for a moment and inclined his head slightly to the side. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but quickly stopped himself before a word could escape. Then, turning his head to face straight ahead once again, he continued to head for the exit.

'I should've known,' Remus called out bitterly to Snape's fading figure, 'I bet I was some kind of cruel experiment to you, wasn't I? Just something to keep you entertained for a while.'

Once again, Snape abruptly stopped in his tracks. However, this time he turned around properly to face Remus. With a distinct determination in his stride, he approached the werewolf and glared at him through searing, almost black, eyes.

'You're utterly clueless, Lupin. Totally and utterly _clueless_. Do you really think that this whole ordeal has been a walk in the park for me? The first real taste of happiness I get in this wretched life and it's gone just like that - Oh yes, I'm positively over the _moon_ at how everything's turned out. And don't flatter yourself; I would have targeted a much younger and _attractive_ subject had I set out to do an experiment such as that,' he finished, taking a much needed breath inwards.

Something snapped in Remus as he watched the last word hiss like acid from Snape's mouth.

It had been so long since he was berated like this by Severus and, shamefully, instead of offending him, it had managed to ignite an unquenchable fire in his belly.

He moved fast, putting a hand on Snape's chest before shoving him backwards and pinning him against the cold wall of the drawing room. Snape's breath caught in his throat as Remus raised a leg slightly to press against his groin. The pressure caused a considerable surge of blood to rush downwards, bringing with it a short gasp of surprise to escape from Snape's parted lips.

Remus' hands reached out and slid around the back of Snape's neck where they gripped tightly, before he lunged forward and hungrily pressed their mouths together. He wanted it all – everything he had experienced with the man last year and more. He wanted to feel Snape writhing with pleasure beneath him and moaning for mercy. Catching Severus' bottom lip, he sucked on it forcibly until he was sure it would be swollen. Then throwing his hips forward into the now throbbing bulge of Snape's crotch, he fiercely crashed his tongue into the other man's more than welcome mouth.

Snape fought for dominance, trying with all his might to grab Lupin and slam him against the wall, but Remus was having none of it. With an effortless movement of his hands, he deftly grasped Snape's wrists and threw them upwards against the wall above his head where he held them in place. Severus grunted defiantly into Remus' mouth, but Remus ignored it; he could see right through his obstinate act, and was well aware that Severus' mouth was in fact curling upwards in a satisfied smirk.

The kiss deepened as they continued to explore every inch of the other's mouth, testing to see if there was a hint of doubt but coming up with nothing. No, this meant something. This was lust in it's purest, most raw form and they had to fulfil that need. The need to be close and to love and to make up for all that time they had lost, craving for one other.

Snape soon broke a hand free and gradually, teasingly, brought it downwards over Remus' ear, his neck, his torso with it's flesh that strained over a lean frame, and finally stopped just above his trousers. There, he swiftly untucked Remus' shirt and, when he had done so, brought the hand underneath the material and drifted it upwards onto the werewolf's abdomen.

Remus shivered at the contact, almost breaking from the kiss, while his cock pulsed in response. He tilted his hips inwards again, producing a moan from Snape, whilst their erections brushed together to cause a blissful friction. Remus' flesh tingled and he clutched at Severus' waist to pull him in tighter still.

Meanwhile, Snape's hand continued to explore what was underneath Lupin's shirt. Beginning to slowly edge around, the hand eventually found the small of Remus' back where it suddenly changed course and headed downwards, past the waistline of his trousers. Remus thrust again, willing Snape - _daring_ him to go further.

And he did just that. Remus broke away from the kiss and panted loudly as Snape's fingers finally came to rest between Lupin's buttocks where they kneaded and stroked the flesh. This is where Severus saw his chance and took control, grabbing Remus' waist with his free hand and edging him backwards until they collapsed onto the couch.

Remus couldn't help but giggle as Severus positioned himself on top of him with a sly grin. Cursing the fact that he was so damn ticklish, he giggled again when he felt Severus' fingers tease the skin under his arms. They grappled playfully as Remus tried without success to seize Snape's hands, but he finally gave up, putting an arm across his face to cover his eyes in defeat.

Severus gazed down at him adoringly, from his messy auburn hair to his perfectly shaped mouth – _he_ was perfect. The mouth slowly began to break into a smile once more, and Snape thought his heart would break. He leaned over and fondly kissed Remus' swollen lips, all the while drifting a thumb over the werewolf's jaw.

Remus pulled his arm down from his face and looked up at Severus with comforting green eyes, almost in an innocent, childlike kind of way. They each savoured the moment and locked the memory of it away safely where no one could touch it but them.

'Do you think we'll make it to the bed this time?' Lupin joked, reaching up and drawing a stray strand of dark hair away from Severus' face.

'But – Sirius...?' Snape reminded him wearily.

'Oh, I wouldn't worry about him,' Remus assured him with a grin, 'He'd sleep through a howler.'

'Well then,' Snape replied as he hauled himself off Remus and stood up, 'I can think of nothing more amusing than to fuck you right under Black's nose.'

It was now Lupin's turn to raise an eyebrow. He'd never heard Snape use such strong language before, and, he had to be honest, it was something of a turn-on.

------------------------------------------

They were soon upstairs in Remus' decidedly large bedroom following a simple apparation. Lupin turned to Snape and put a finger up to his mouth to express the need for silence before approaching the door to carefully close it. After listening for and finally hearing the click of the lock, Lupin smiled as two hands enveloped him from behind and held him tight.

He looked to the side to watch as Snape bent his head downwards and kissed his shoulder through the shirt. There was something so intimate about that simple act, Remus pondered.

With a quick dip into his pocket for his wand, Remus pointed it up to the ceiling that sprawled out high above their heads and whispered 'Silencio.'

Werewolf turned to face Potions Master and each took in the image of the other's face in the moonlight, before they descended into a haze of gentle kisses. Their lips brushed together, almost frustratingly, while they repressed the urge to clutch and grab and scrape and fuck right that instant. No, they wanted to savour these few moments for all they were worth - Savour all that they had missed out on a year ago in their lustful frenzy.

And, ohmygod, there was that delicious taste of strawberries again. _How did he __**do**__ that?_ Remus wondered incredulously as he lapped up the sweetness of Snape's mouth in broad, soft strokes. He felt weightless, inhaling blissfully as slender fingers sank into his untidy hair and lips traced a path down his neck. Remus didn't know whether he would be able to hold himself back if this continued on for much longer. His cock was practically aching for contact with Snape's body and – Christ, was Severus making shapes on his skin with his tongue? Remus moaned in approval.

Soon they were on the bed, still fully clothed while Severus lay on top, drawing a hand up and down Remus' waist as they kissed lightly. Deciding he could take no more gentleness, Remus took charge. He placed a hand over Snape's crotch and squeezed tight; just enough to be aggressive but not enough to actually hurt him.

Snape gasped and thrust forward into Lupin's grasp, almost as a reflex. He broke away from the kiss, seeming to scrutinize Remus for a moment as he looked down at him. Then, in a flash of excitement, they both found themselves frantically tearing off clothes and flinging them onto the ground.

During the heated frenzy, Remus found himself nearly become entangled in the bed sheets underneath his now naked body; but he ignored it. Bed sheets were the very last thing on his mind now. He arched his back, feeling close to feverish, as Severus brought his mouth downwards from his neck to his chest where he kneaded at Remus' tingling nipples, and then from his chest to his right hip. Severus kissed the skin carefully while above him Lupin bit down at his bottom lip, closing his hand into a fist as he fought off the urge to reach down and guide Snape's head towards the place that needed his attention most.

Remus clutched at his forehead when, exasperatingly, he felt Severus drift a hand along his inner thigh. He anxiously grabbed Snape's wrist to stop the hand from moving further upwards, almost positive that he would come right then and there. He didn't want it to end. Not yet.

'Wait - ' Remus began in an alarmed voice. But he didn't have to finish the sentence. Snape looked up to give him a coy smile, knowing what Remus was getting at.

The werewolf squeezed his eyes shut at the sensation of Snape's fingers slowly entering him. There was no shot of pain like there had been last time, and so he eased into it, feeling a wave of warmth envelop him. Snape inched his fingers in further, looking for the sensitive bundle of nerves, when suddenly he found it.

'Oh – fu- _fuck,_' Remus gasped, arching his back and widening his eyes as a blinding flash of white flickered across his vision.

Snape brought his head up to look at Remus from where he was positioned between his legs. Gods, he loved seeing Lupin writhe and moan like that. He stroked the same spot again and again and each time watched Remus' reaction in complete awe, the obscenely raunchy image making his cock throb.

'You have to s-stop right there and fuck me,' Remus ordered, his brow furrowed and eyes shut in concentration, willing himself not to come.

Severus huffed a laugh and brought himself upwards to place a soft kiss on Lupin's lips, more than happy to oblige to his request.

'If you say so.'

----------------------------------------

Clutching at the mattress as Snape slid inside him, Remus clenched his jaw with a groan at the dull yet mercifully short ache that suddenly struck him. Seeing this response, Severus reached out a hand and caressed the small of Lupin's back to soothe him.

Moments later, the two men were rhythmically grinding against one another, each thrust bringing with it a sharp breath or moan. Remus's groans grew louder and louder as Snape built up momentum behind him to plunge faster and deeper inside. Almost spontaneously, both felt a shuddering warmth build up from the base of their cocks that soon radiated upwards.

'Oh, Gods – _Severus!_' Remus cried out as a bone-shattering orgasm crashed over his body, making him weak. He panted in laboured gasps, trying to catch his breath, when suddenly he felt a heat fill him.

Behind him he heard Snape draw in a shaky breath that caught in his throat, before he gave two last thrusts and, finally, let his head fall onto Remus' back.

-----------------------------------------

The two laid, finally under the covers, in Remus' bed after managing to recover from what was decidedly the best shag of their lives. The glazed-over look Lupin held in his eyes was exactly mirrored in Snape's as they stared, side by side, up at the ceiling.

'Thank Merlin for that silencing charm, eh?' Lupin whispered into the dark. Beside him he heard a light chuckle, and he smiled, pleased - and still not used to the fact - that he could make Snape laugh.

Remus reached over to the bedside table where his wand rested and picked it up. With a swish, the sound of a catchy drum beat and then a voice began to emanate from the opposite end of the room. The bed moved beneath Remus and, although he couldn't see through the darkness, he guessed that Severus was sitting up.

'What is that?' Snape enquired, somewhat alarmed by the sudden noise.

'It's the record player you gave me last year, remember? Sirius and I updated the music collection a bit. Actually, this was one of our favourites when we were younger.'

He sensed Severus relax and then recline back onto the bed beside him once again.

'I.. didn't think they made those record - ' he paused, looking for the word, '_things_ anymore.'

'Oh, they do. They're all over the place if you know which muggle shops to go to. It's great really.' replied Remus.

'Well what's this song then? Another Bobby.. Davies - '

'Bobby Darin!' Remus laughed with a playful dig at Snape's ribs, 'And no, it's called 'Pictures of You' by The Cure. A little more modern than Bobby Darin.'

There was a pause before Snape spoke again.

'You're not going to burst into a fit of dancing again then?' he asked sneeringly. But Remus knew he was only poking fun.

'I think you've ensured I won't have the energy to dance again for a long time, Severus,' he smiled.

Remus was startled to feel a light kiss on his neck and turned his head, just able to make out the whites of Snape's eyes by his shoulder.

'I apologise for... for last year – the way I acted...' Severus began, obviously having trouble finding the words to explain himself, 'I just... gave up on it – on _us_ - before giving it a chance to even begin.'

Remus interrupted him with a kiss on the forehead. He didn't need an explanation. He understood perfectly and had long since forgiven him for what had happened between them.

'It's alright. Really.' Remus soothed, 'We can make it work... Can't we?'

There wasn't a moments hesitation before Lupin felt a warm hand on his cheek, stroking it fondly.

'We can make it work.'

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**And scene. Hope the end wasn't too cheesy! Anywho, thanks for reading.** ^_^


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